Here Are Five Good Reasons Why "Amplifier" is the Greatest Breakup Song Ever Written

Okay, I admit it.  I can fall madly, passionately in love at the drop of a hat.  Often, it only lasts a week or two.  But more often, it lasts a good, long time.  And not infrequently, it lasts forever.

Oh, I should probably mention - I’m talking about songs.

I suspect there are plenty of people out there who don’t understand how it’s possible to “fall in love” with a song.   (And to me, “fall in love” is exactly the right term.)  I’m thinking, or hoping anyway, there are almost as many who completely understand what I mean.

Sometimes, it’s love at first sight…er, I mean, listen.  I can tell you exactly where I was and what I was doing the first time I heard “Wuthering Heights” by Kate Bush, back in 1978.  I was in London, walking down the street with my friend Annie, who I know will be reading this blog.  She literally yanked me into a record shop as we walked by, screaming,  “Oh my God, you have GOT to hear this song!” as Kate's voice blared from their sound system.  I bought the album right then and there.  In 1992, Mike was channel surfing one night in our TV room, and stopped for maybe 10 seconds on MTV.  When he continued on his quest, I grabbed the remote out of his hand and said, “Go back!  What WAS that?”  It was “Lithium” by Nirvana.  I’ve chronicled my 1987 “meeting” with Game Theory’s “Erica’s Word” already (right here).  Two of these three are on that “forever” list.  I still like “Lithium” a lot, but for me, the best song Kurt Cobain ever wrote was (at the risk of sounding predictable, something I never like to be) “Smells Like Teen Spirit.”  That one’s a keeper.

I don’t remember when I fell for “Amplifer,” so I assume it was a gradual thing.  Those are often the ones that stick.  And this one most assuredly stuck.

“Amplifier” is a song by the wonderful 1980’s North Carolina power pop band, the dB’s.  It first appeared on their second, and final, album for Albion Records, “Repercussion,” released in 1982.  After the video started to get a little play, the song was remixed and included on the band’s third (and arguably best) album, “Like This” on Bearsville Records, in 1984. 

Photo by ... me!

It was written by the brilliant Peter Holsapple.  Holsapple is best known for his work with the dB’s, but he’s also worked with the likes of R.E.M. and Hootie and the Blowfish, as a side musician.  While I’ve always liked his vocals, it’s his incredible talent as a songwriter that blows me away.  I could easily give you five good reasons why he’s a freaking genius.  But we’re gathered here today to discuss one song, and that song is “Amplifier.”   A song which, in my humble opinion, is the single greatest “breakup” song ever written.

Why is that, you ask?

1.   The First Line of the Song is a Killer – Literally!

“Danny went home and killed himself last night.”

Not exactly a romantic start for a pop song, is it?  But, remember, this is a breakup song.  And not just any “breakup song.”  It’s the breakup song to end all breakup songs.  And the songwriter isn’t just any songwriter.  Holsapple is known for his sardonic take on love and romance.  In another of his gems, a song called “Love is for Lovers,” also on “Like This,” he penned what, for me, could be the all time best line ever included in a “love song:”

“And if you’re happy, then you ought to stay there.

I’m not certain that I know the way there.”

So, just to be clear, Holsapple isn’t exactly a member of the “moon/June” school of lyricists.  If he was, I wouldn’t be writing this.

And let’s be honest.  That first line sure as hell gets your attention.

2.  The Video

When you’re a fan of obscure music, like I am, just the fact that a video exists for a song is pretty spectacular.  But, not only does “Amplifier” have a video attached to it, the video is absolutely terrific.  It’s dark, it’s funny, and it’s clever.  What more do you need?  Oh, and you’re in luck - it’s also available on YouTube!

The young man in the video, as you’ve probably guessed, isn’t Danny.  It’s Peter Holsapple.  And, as low budget videos go, this one is really well done.

3.  That Guitar Intro Rocks Like Crazy

Despite my obsessive love of truly great song lyrics, I’ve also always been a huge fan of the electric guitar.  Heck, in 1968, when my mother gave me some cash to buy clothes for my sophomore year, I came home with a skirt…and Jeff Beck’s new album, “Truth.”  When trying to defend my choice, I pointed out that the album came in a jacket, and jackets are clothing.  She didn’t buy it.

As I mentioned earlier, “Amplifier” appeared on two dB’s albums.  Other than the fuller and cleaner sound it has on “Like This,” the recording seems to be the same as what originally appeared on “Repercussion,” so, even though he isn’t credited on “Like This,” I will continue to assume the great guitar work is that of the wonderful Chris Stamey.  (If anyone knows differently, please share!)  Stamey and Holsapple started the dB’s together, and also put out a couple of other albums together, including the beautiful “Mavericks” in 1991.  I saw them do an acoustic set at Night Stage in Cambridge, MA in support of “Mavericks,” and it was one of the best shows I’ve ever seen.  I’ve always considered Stamey to be an underrated guitarist, and for further proof, check out his 1987 album “It’s Alright.”  But, I digress.

My point is, that guitar intro is really good, and super catchy.  It reels you in right away.  And the fact that it’s so upbeat makes that first vocal line all the more surprising.

And I’m a sucker for stuff like that.

4.  There is a Clear Villain Here

Peter Holsapple might be cynical.  He might be sarcastic.  He might be a lot of things.  But one thing he isn’t is wishy-washy.  He was wronged, damn it, and he is not afraid to tell you about it, in cringe-worthy detail.  There is no doubt who the wronged party is in this song.  That beeyotch took everything he owned!   You have to love the lack of any pretense here.

5.  One of the Greatest Plays on Words in Pop Music History

I am a complete sucker for lyrical ambiguity, double-meanings, plays on words, whatever you want to call it.  The Kinks’ “Lola” is probably my all time favorite song, for God’s sake.  So for me, the payoff in “Amplifier” comes near the end, when Holsapple sings:

“She took it all, in one big haul,

She left his amplifier”

Or does he?  Couldn’t he just as easily be singing:

“She took it all,

In one big hall, she left his amplifier.”

Both meanings work, and, even though all of the on-line lyric sites seem to stick with “haul,” I have to think a songwriter as intelligent as Peter Holsapple knew exactly what he was doing when he wrote that line.

That’s my story, and I’m sticking with it.

Here Are Five Good Reasons Why I "Liked" Cruising

At the age of…um…”50-something” (with very little time left to keep saying that), I’d never been on a cruise.  My husband, Mike, had always wanted to try cruising.  Most of our friends have done cruises and loved them.  But I had always been left cold by the idea of roaming around in a boat full of old people playing shuffleboard, surrounded by corny entertainers and bad buffet food.  Not to even mention the fact that I didn’t relish catching Noro virus, or being stranded in the middle of the ocean when something went wrong.

Not that I generalize. God forbid.

But there I was one night last October, at a nice restaurant in the North End, with the better part of a bottle of wine gone, and feeling pretty good.  Our friends were up visiting from Vancouver (in fact they were just about to embark on a Canada/New England foliage cruise), and another cruising couple had also joined us for dinner.  The subject turned to cruising.  I was about to nod off, when suddenly, I realized they were talking about walking on glaciers, and seeing Iditarod huskies and…did I hear that right?  Drinking glacial water?   Suddenly, I remembered an extreme closeup photo my friend Leslie had emailed me during her last Alaskan cruise (she’s done two).

Okay.  It might have been the wine talking, but I did it.  I agreed to an Alaskan cruise the following year.  Before I could change my mind and weasel out of it, Mike booked our tickets that week.  (What can I say, he knows me well.)

We returned from our cruise last Monday evening.  A lot of things happened on the cruise.  Me deciding I hated cruising wasn’t one of them.  But, neither was me falling in love with it.  So, color me ambivalent. 

Allow me to elaborate.

1.   Almost Everything is Included in One Price.

While the price for an Alaskan cruise is not exactly bargain-basement, it is kind of nice that you pay one price, and that covers your cabin, all your food, and various entertainment and “educational” options.  I was amazed to learn, this even includes Room Service!  It doesn’t include booze (unless you pay extra), but we really aren’t huge drinkers, so that was fine with us.  You don’t even carry cash with you on the ship!

The downside of that, of course, is that you have to wonder whether it would be more favorable for someone like me, who doesn’t generally eat lunch while on vacation (a nice breakfast and nice dinner seem to be exactly right for me), and who would never order two appetizers or two desserts at dinner (which I found out was not only perfectly acceptable on the ship, but is not even all that unusual), to just pay-as-you-go.  I couldn’t quite shake the sneaking suspicion I was somehow subsidizing the folks with heartier appetites than mine.  (By the way, even without a “hearty” appetite, I managed to put on 8 pounds.  God only knows how much I would have put on had I not visited the fitness center every morning!)

2.  The Cabins Are…Small

We opted for something called “Concierge Class.”  For a slightly inflated price, we got robes (okay, I wore mine almost every day), canapés in the afternoon (not a big deal to me, but Mike seemed to enjoy that) and extra items added to the Room Service menu.  We had big plans for Room Service, envisioning breakfasts on our (miniscule) balcony every morning, looking out over the ocean.  Reality set in quickly when we realized it’s about 50 degrees in September along the Inside Passage.  Buffet, here we come.

But back to the cabin.  According to the internet, it was 175 square feet.  That is...really tiny!   What was funny at first turned into annoyance around midweek, when we got tired of trying to pass one another on our way to the bathroom.

To be fair, though, they pack a lot of storage space into that 175 square feet.  It amazed me that, not only did our two large suitcases fit underneath the bed, but we had plenty of shelves and drawers we didn’t even use.  And, believe me, I overpacked even more ridiculously than I usually do.

One of our towel animals

Our spacious cabin

3.  There Are Shows Every Night and Various Games Every Day

Yes, there are.  There was a juggler/comedian named Mike Price, who apparently was on “America’s Got Talent” (I watch the show, and don’t remember him at all).  He was hilarious, with very edgy comedy that was right up my alley.  He was also a really good juggler, if you like jugglers.  There was a “mentalist” who was less than impressive.  There was also an inane “Broadway” show, with numbers from “The Producers,” “Cabaret” and several other shows.  It was pretty God-awful.  (Despite having a poster from “Wicked” displayed in the lobby, there were no “Wicked” numbers to be found.  It was probably just as well.)

There was also an Eagles tribute show.  I wouldn’t attend an actual Eagles concert, so an Eagles tribute concert wasn’t going to do much for me.  Okay, I admit to being a music snob, with what I’ve always referred to as “music-critic tastes.”  Maybe we should just chalk this one up to my being on a different planet than most folks musically.

They had an art auction one day.  We didn’t stay for it, but we did have a look around at the art.  There were a few pieces by well known artists, but a lot of what I saw was just not good.

There was Bingo.  We played.  We didn’t win.  We had fun.

There was a casino.  I love casinos.  I visit Las Vegas on a somewhat regular basis.  I spent about an hour in this casino  The video poker pay schedules are unplayable.  And the machines are still coin-in.  (To you non-gamblers, that means they still take and dispense quarters.  That technology went the way of the dinosaur some time ago.)

We did win a Beatles trivia contest.  Which is a good thing, because if we hadn’t, my Beatles-fanatic husband might have gone overboard.  We got 14 out of 15 questions right.  And he argued vehemently about the 15^th question, and is still irritated about it.  Don’t ask.

Sadly, there was no “Newlywed Game,” as we’d heard there might be.  We had planned on kicking major ass.

4.  There is Food Literally Everywhere

There’s a buffet.  There’s a pastry counter.  There’s a dining room.  There’s a spa café.  There’s a poolside hamburger grill.  There’s a “specialty restaurant.”  There’s a martini bar.  There are about 3-4 other lounges.  There’s the afore-mentioned room service.

Is the food awful?  No. (Remember, I gained 8 pounds!)  The buffet food is about par for the course for buffet food.  We had our breakfasts there.  There were Belgian waffles, and there was fruit and whipped cream.  That is always enough to make me happy at breakfast.  And the coffee wasn’t too terrible.  (Okay you caught me.  I’m also a coffee snob.  I have Kona delivered to me on a regular schedule from Hawaii.  Shoot me.)

The main dining room is actually pretty good.  Small menu, but I was always able to find something.  The desserts were always good.  Well, except for a controversy we encountered with a so-called “lava cake with caramelized bananas” which had no lava, and nothing caramelized.  But that would be a blog in and of itself.  Every dessert I had was pretty good.  Not great.  But pretty good.

We also tried the specialty restaurant one night.  For $45 per person, you can dine in a small room with a separate menu.  This was by far the best meal of the cruise.  The food was actually quite good.

5.  The Service is Nothing Short of Amazing

Okay, this is one area where I don’t think I can be ambivalent at all.  I mean, not even a little bit. 

The service, from the housekeepers (oops, sorry, “stateroom attendants”) to the wait staff at the various restaurants, to the clerks at the gift shops, was absolutely outstanding, always friendly, always helpful and always efficient.  It blew my mind.  I don’t remember ever being so impressed by a staff.  And I’m pretty tough to impress.  (As you’ve probably gathered!)

So, to summarize. 

Did I have fun?  Most definitely, yes.  A large part of my fun was had at the ports, where we cooked fresh Alaskan salmon on a fire pit, and took a helicopter to Mendenhall Glacier to visit a dogsled camp and ride in the dogsled.  And an even larger part of my fun was had spending time with our friends.  But for the purposes of this blog, I am speaking only about the ship itself, and leaving the destination (including one day when we spent hours watching in amazement as the ship made several 360-degree turns at Hubbard Glacier) and our cruise mates out of the equation.  But the ship was not the "retirement home on the sea" that I foolishly imagined it would be.  It was fun!  And I bet it would be even more fun if the temperature were above 55.

Am I now madly in love with the concept of “cruising,” and therefore absolutely dying to book another cruise as soon as possible?  No.  But, I know thousands of people are - and more power to them.  That’s just not me.  But, would I do it again?  Probably, depending on the destination, the price, etc.

And let me tell you something.  The helicopter and the dogsled ride?  Worth the price of admission.  But, that's another blog, for another day.

Here Are Five Good Reasons Why "Interview With the Vampire" is the Best Novel Ever Written

I believe a little background information is in order.

Growing up, I was a horror movie junkie.  While other kids were playing with dolls, I was hanging out with my imaginary friend – who happened to be Larry Talbot.  I’m betting most of you don’t recognize that name.  Larry Talbot was the name of the man who eventually became The Wolf Man.  Played by Lon Chaney, Jr. in several films in the 1940’s, most notably the original, Talbot was my favorite of a number of horror movie characters, including Bela Lugosi’s Count Dracula and, of course, Frankenstein’s Monster, as portrayed by Boris Karloff. 

While most pre-teens were spending their allowance on candy or toys, I spent a good part of mine on horror model kits and issues of my favorite magazine, Famous Monsters of Filmland.  (Exciting news – in researching the magazine just now, I find it is actually still being published!  This has made me inexplicably happy.)

The latest issue!

So it should come as no real surprise that my favorite novel of all time is a “horror” story.  And not just any horror story, I dare say.  My favorite novel of all time is Anne Rice’s first – and best – book, “Interview With the Vampire.”

Bottom right is the original 1977 paperback.

As you probably know, there have been numerous sequels to the book.  Some of them weren’t bad.  But none came even close to the original, which stands on its own as a terrific read, and a great piece of horror fiction.

Now, as you may recall from previous blogs, I have a Bachelors Degree in English.  I read a lot.  So, in answer to your unasked question, no, I am not foolish enough to think that this is some sort of literary masterpiece.  That status, I reserve for other “favorites,” like “Wuthering Heights,” “Great Expectations” or “Lord of the Flies.”  But when it comes to characters and storyline, as well as originality and imagination…”Interview” is hard to beat.

I first read the book in 1977 when the paperback came out.  I remember loving it so much that the first thing I did was to run out and buy another copy to mail to my best friend, who was living in New York.  While she didn’t love it quite as much as I did, we did have many interesting philosophical discussions about it.  And, to this day, I still believe she’s wrong about the one thing we argued most passionately about - the ending of the book is perfect, and, in fact, is the only possible ending.

Before we get into the reasons for my love affair with Louis and Claudia, a word about the film.  You know, the one with Tom Cruise as Lestat, and Brad Pitt as Louis.  I, of course, saw it on opening night.  I could barely contain my excitement, and dragged Mike with me.  He had never read the book.  He liked the movie.  To this day, I maintain that I could have done it much, much better.  And the casting?  Horrendous.  One small observation, which should give you some idea of how ludicrous the overall casting was.  Armand is about 15-16 years old physically, is beautiful in an overtly feminine way, and has auburn hair.  So really, who better to portray him than…Antonio Banderas?  Seriously?  Good grief.

Good casting takes a holiday.

But I digress.  Since that first reading, I’ve read the book at least a dozen times, probably more.  I am always horrified, enthralled and completely taken with it.  The story never fails to captivate me.

So, let’s talk about the five good reasons why “Interview With the Vampire” is the greatest novel of all time.  (Be forewarned – if you’ve never read the book, and think there is a chance you’ll want to after reading this, be careful, because I’m likely going to give away the ending…since the ending is so damn perfect.)

1.  The Story

A young man with a tape recorder encounters a stranger in a bar, and strikes up a conversation with him, hoping to convince him to share his life story.  This man claims to have a life story worth sharing, and invites the boy up to his room to hear it.  He then claims he is a vampire.  The boy is skeptical to say the least, but agrees to record his story.

That story takes us from the plantations and townhouses of eighteenth century New Orleans, through nineteenth century Paris, and on to twentieth century San Francisco.  The story is a fascinating account of a man’s struggle with his morality as, thanks to a shallow and lonely vampire, he becomes an unwilling member of the undead, and encounters everything from a 5 year old child who is also made into a vampire, to a group of mindless Eastern European revenants, and finally to a band of cruel but sophisticated vampires in Paris, who have created the Theatres des Vampires, where mortal men and women come to watch what they assume are “plays,” but are actually real death scenes orchestrated by the theater troupe, in which they (seen as actors by the unsuspecting audience) openly torture and kill beautiful young victims in front of a full house each night.  Through it all, Louis continues to question his own nature, and fights against the basest urges to try to retain some of his humanity.

As he tells his story, we see the boy’s attitude slowly change from suspicious to enchantment.  By the time Louis de Pointe du Lac finishes his life story, there is not a shred of doubt in the mind of Daniel Molloy that what he has just heard is true.

2.  The Characters

For my money, the characters created by Anne Rice for “Interview With the Vampire” are among the most original, enthralling and imaginative characters in the history of fiction.

Louis de Pointe du Lac is a handsome young man in his twenties, part of a plantation family in eighteenth century New Orleans.  He is a philosophical and romantic man, a lover of art and literature.  After the death of his brother, a religious zealot given to “visions,” Louis is left to care for his sister and mother.  He never forgives himself for his brother’s death, and the guilt drives him to take foolish chances.  After drinking too much one night, he encounters Lestat de Lioncourt, a beautiful blond vampire, in a dangerous area of the city.  Lestat attacks him and eventually makes him into a vampire. 

While the later novels focus on a somewhat re-invented Lestat, the Lestat of the first novel is, to me anyway, neither interesting nor sympathetic.  He is a lonely, not particularly intelligent young man, driven to create a companion for himself by not only his loneliness, but by a need for money and wealth as well.  He himself is not clever enough to gain these on his own, and must manipulate Louis into providing them for him.  

Louis, on the other hand, is completely fascinating.  Upon becoming a vampire, he embarks on a mission to save the life and reputation of a woman he has admired from afar in his mortal life.  He has moral and ethical issues with the need to feed on blood, and for many years, makes do with the blood of rats and other small animals.

Louis begs Lestat to share the secrets of the vampire world with him, eventually coming to realize that Lestat knows next to nothing about his own origins.  Eventually, much later in the story, Louis meets up with Armand, a 400 year old vampire in Paris, who appears to be everything Lestat is not.  But first he is “given” a companion by Lestat, who, fearing he is about to be left alone again, creates a vampire out of a starving, orphaned 5 year old girl.  The child, who they name Claudia, becomes Louis’ companion and foil for many years.

Claudia.  Rice’s piece de resistance.  Imagine, a 5 year old child vampire!  And then imagine that this child eventually becomes an intelligent, passionate and cruel woman…but only on the inside.  On the outside, she is forever doomed to reside in the body of a 5 year old girl.  My God, the horror, the shock – and above all, the utter brilliance of this!  Claudia is Louis’ match in intellect and Lestat’s match in cruelty.  The combination is both horrifying and magnificent.

3.  The Settings

There are two main locales in which the story takes place, and both hold a lot of meaning for me.  The book opens in 1791 New Orleans.  New Orleans might very well be my favorite city in the world.  I’ve been there numerous times, and I pretty much love everything about it.  I’d move there in a millisecond, but my practical husband has these silly ideas about unbearable heat and humidity as well as high crime rates, so, sadly, we probably won’t be living in a big old house in the Garden District any time soon.  (I did, however, see Anne Rice’s Garden District home once, many years back.) 

The latter part of the book takes place in nineteenth century Paris.  Ah, Paris.  A city I have long wished to see.  So far, the closest I’ve come to realizing that dream is to enjoy a croissant while walking along the cobblestone path at the Paris hotel and casino in Las Vegas.  I’m led to understand the real Paris is even better.

Both locations work beautifully in the context of the storyline.  If you know NOLA at all, it is remarkably easy to envision the characters walking along the Vieux Carré at night, feeding off their human prey in the alleys, or gazing into the little shops and cafes.  It's just as easy to imagine the grand Pointe du Lac plantation, and the townhouse where the three main characters eventually set up residence.  (The latter is based on the Gallier House, at 1132 Royal Street.  Just looking at it can put me into a trance, imagining the three of them up there.)

1132 Royal Street...is that
Claudia in the window?

The Paris of the nineteenth century comes alive in the book as well.  Even without having ever seen the city, I have very little trouble imagining the streets and buildings as described by Rice.  My only complaint is that she glosses over Louis and Armand’s nighttime visit to the Louvre.  Now, that would have been fascinating to read about!

4.  The Homoerotic Undertones

Even though (in Rice’s novels, anyway) vampires cannot make love, there are enough homoerotic references in the book to make for a whole other blog. 

There are very few female characters in the book.  Claudia, of course, is a child, at least physically.  Madeleine, although a young woman, is portrayed as a mother figure.  Celeste, one of the Parisian vampires at the Theatres des Vampires, is seen as beautiful but cold and cruel.  The males, on the other hand, are uniformly fascinating, physically attractive and sensual.  And, I mean, come on, they flirt with one another like nobody’s business!

What exactly is going on with Louis’ initial enchantment with Lestat?  At one point, very early in the story, Louis describes Lestat’s movement as “so graceful and so personal that at once it made me think of a lover.”  Later, in Paris, Armand talks about the love between himself and the vampire who made him, and later tells Louis, “I want you.  I want you more than anything in the world.”

I imagine a lot more could be made of this whole thing if the novel were written today.  But for a story written in 1976, or possibly earlier, since it was originally a short story, this is pretty amazing stuff!

5.  The Ending

As I’ve said, as far as I’m concerned, there was only one possible way to end the story.  Have you guessed what it is?  If you haven’t, and you don’t want to know, I would highly recommend you stop right here, and run out and read the book.  Trust me, it will be time well spent.

As I read the book for the first time, all I could think about was how completely amazing it must be to be a vampire.  At least a vampire as portrayed by Anne Rice.  Yes, I would no doubt miss food and sex, but living forever seemed to me to be a more than adequate tradeoff.  To see the changes in society and in the world over the years, to be able to travel pretty much unencumbered, can you even imagine!?

So when, at the conclusion of Louis’ story, Daniel begs him to make him into a vampire, my immediate response was, “yes, of course!”  Louis’ response, predictably, was shock and disbelief.  “This…after all I’ve told you…is what you ask for?”

Daniel answers him perfectly.  “You don’t know what human life is like!”

I’m older and wiser now.  I’m not entirely sure I’d take the offer if it were somehow to be made.  But I’m not that much older, and definitely not that much wiser. 

Because I still think I might.

Here Are Five Good Reasons Why I Love the Subway

I have a confession to make.  I don’t drive.  Oh, I have my driver’s license, but, trust me, it’s in everyone’s best interest if I only use it for identification purposes.

I am also a big proponent of public transportation.  I’m not sure whether the main reason for this is that I truly believe in it, or just the fact that I don’t drive, so I sort of have to use it.  It’s kind of like the old “which came first, the chicken or the egg” question.

Either way, I am fortunate to live in a city where the public transportation system happens to be pretty good.  (I can almost hear the groans of disagreement as I type.) 

Boston’s subway system, known by commuters as “the T” (an extremely shortened version of Massachusetts Bay Transportation Authority), is the oldest public transit system in the country.  There are times, I admit, when it seems some of the cars being used now might possibly be original equipment.  However, most of the time, the system works.

In fact, I kind of enjoy it.

Which is why I felt it might be fun to present to you my five good reasons why I love the subway.  Let’s get started!

1.  The Price is Right

Yup, you read that right.  The subway is a veritable bargain.  The current price of a single subway ride is $2.50, and if you have a monthly pass, called a "Charlie Card," it works out to a lot less. 

I live in a small town that is essentially a part of Boston.  I can walk from my home to the Orient Heights subway station in East Boston in under 20 minutes.  I’ve taken a taxi home from my downtown Boston office a couple of times.  The total distance is just about 6 miles.  In early rush hour traffic, the taxi took about an hour to get me home...and cost me about $35.  For the price of a subway ticket, I can get from Aquarium station, just up the street from my office, to Orient Heights in under 15 minutes, and then walk for another 15 or so minutes, and be home.  To me, there is no comparison between those two options.

The "Charlie Card"

 2.  It’s Pretty Easy to Find Your Way Around

The Boston subway system is color-coded.  Not only does this make for pretty looking maps, but it makes it relatively easy to figure out which subway station and which platform are the right ones.  Need to travel on the Blue Line (downtown Boston to the nearby northern suburbs, via East Boston and the airport)?  Go into one of the stations that include a blue bar on its entrance, and stand at the platform with the blue bar.  Not sure which direction to go?  “Inbound” refers to travel towards downtown Boston, and “outbound,” you guessed it, refers to travel away from downtown Boston.

Colorful Boston Subway Map

3.  It’s Usually Reliable

Okay, no smartass comments from you locals.  I said “usually,” didn’t I?  Yes, there can be delays.  And, oh, can those delays be horrific.  That 30-minute door-to-door I bragged about earlier has taken well over two hours a few times.  But the vast majority of the time, the T runs on or close to schedule.  And there’s a lot to be said for that.

4.  You Can Feel Self-Righteous and Superior

After all, you’re not contributing to the pollution of the earth by using a gas guzzling, carbon-emitting car!  So go ahead and give your friends smug looks.  Shake your head sadly.  Hell, roll your eyes if the mood strikes.  You’ve earned it!  They’re not the ones battling old ladies for a seat every morning.  They’re not the ones sitting next to that weird guy who didn’t shower this week.  Or last week.  Or possibly this month.

5.  The People-Watching is World Class

You didn’t think this was just going to be a straightforward love letter about the subway, did you?  As you will no doubt come to understand, humor is a very big part of my worldview, and therefore will be applied liberally to all blog entries.

The best reason to ride the T is really very simple.  There are more unfortunate fashion choices, sanity-impaired individuals, and just plain old weirdoes per square inch than you could ever hope for.  It is always entertaining.  I’ve been riding the rails for over 30 years, so I’ve pretty much seen it all.  And I am more than willing to share a few of my recent (read “post-iPhone camera”) sightings with you here.  Be forewarned.  This could affect your dreams for many nights to come.  (Some words of advice - headphones and/or a good book.  Don’t leave home without them.  Anti-bacterial wipes aren’t a bad idea, either.)

No, sadly, I don't believe he was on his way to a costume party...

Not sure which of these is my favorite, the, ah, fashion-challenged
young lady on the left, or the dude with the "Cocaine & Caviar" cap.
Okay, you're right, it's a toss up.

Just think.  You can never un-see this.  You're welcome!

So that’s the T, summarized rather nicely, I think.  When you factor in the entertainment value, you can see that that reasonable price I mentioned earlier is even more of a bargain than you might have originally thought.

Happy commuting!